Break Point

It is funny how quickly a person reaches the point of insanity. It comes on sudden and unexpectantly. To control the sensation is nearly impossible. You can feel it inside your inside your entire body as your blood begins to boil to the surface and the word vomit is on the edge of your lips. If the words are spoken the tears can be felt inside the eyelids waiting for permission to join the roller coaster.

How do you control it? How do you move past it? One wrong step and it will all could crumble. The whole barricade could fall apart and the rash decision could cause you to lose everything.  How is it that no one around can notice? How do they not realize you have reached the breaking point and offer no solution only push more? Even if they pay for services rendered is there not a line that crosses too far and they risk never getting you back from it? Suddenly the moments that made everything seem like you had a family suddenly just feel like employers, employers that have taken it a step too far.

My social behavior class has really helped to focus in on these realizations and understanding for social relationships. It explains the reasoning why we as human beings react to situations they way we do. Sometimes the lines of social and professional become crossed and can lead to misconceptions. It creates complications. How do you recover? All of this is complicated and confusing. They say you learn a lot about people living with them, maybe this is how the role of nanny becomes complicated. It turns  situations from pleasant to miserable. Taking something that seems ordinarily perfect to awful.

How can one family vacation become a nightmare? The count down to returning to normalcy drags on. Will it be normal again though or is the resentment and frustration past the point of recovery? Have all the little no big deal problems reached breaking point? What happens when breaking point occurs? In a house full of nine people there is no moment to regain composure or lose composure. It is stifling, suffocating, and like your skin is burning with no relief.

Then you look outside and see the beauty and amazement of nature. The wonder how something so amazing can exist. If only there was opportunity to explore and enjoy it. A moments rest to acknowledge the wonderment of where I am. All I really need it someone to appreciate what has happened, the understanding they asked more than was was agreed upon. Furthermore, that a twenty three year should be given the option to use her own car and just leave the house for a moment. Given more than just the chance to stand on the ice. Realization that a few extra dollars does not accommodate for such an extension. That this was not a simple task to accommodate for and was trying to be considerate.