Self Awareness and Identity

People say college is the time of self discovery. The place you learn who you are. The time to experience everything. It is the preparation for the adult world. This always seemed true. I learned about myself, made life-long friends, and most importantly earn a solid education. In my mind I was prepared to be an adult. I learned my political beliefs and reassured my morals. Four years well spent.

It was simple I was brought up on mid-west values, had small town exposure, a private school education, a democratic mother and a republican grandfather. I was informed, considerate and compassionate. I prided my self on involvement and activity. According to my society the essence of what a person should be. How could there be room for anymore self identity. Somehow over the past year I have realized how small minded my world truly had been. How I limited myself by my surroundings. My environment dictated my position, my choices, my beliefs. I used to admit I lived three lives: college, camp, and home.

College: conservative, sorority, education, and partying. Camp: liberal, playful, loud, crazy, active. Home: an intermediate of the two and incredibly self-reservered. There were different expectations and acceptances. Now do not get me wrong none of these worlds seemed incomplete. Furthermore, everyone made me perfectly content. It was easy to slip in and out of the various worlds without little thought or collision. Each component giving me a different aspect to life.

Currently a big push in society is global community. The theory is in a global world there should be cultural acceptance and understanding. We focus learning about cultural difference across the world.  Yet has it even been stopped to think of the cultural differences within our own society. Sure there are the stereotypes of the "SOUTH" "WEST COAST" "EAST COAST" and "MID WEST" is it ever considered how these stereotypes form a person? Is it the cultural exposure and education that lead to that? Is there more to these unique cultures than just the stereotypes?

Working at camp was my first true exposure to differences and acceptance.  Seeing and understanding different cultures nationally and internationally. There was even cultural differences on what was acceptable within different camps based on location. It brought a broader understanding on racial, ethical, sexual, and gender identity differences. An experience that received little knowledge within my hometown or college. Consequently, vastly what was observed  in college and home was not always shown with the strongest connotations. The "bible belt" stereotype striking strong. Suddenly bringing light to how little I truly knew. This is not to say my family, friends, or myself were not naturally accepting; however, it is to say that the community as a whole was undereducated on these experiences and rather jaded.

In the process of this and travel with my mother I quickly fell in love with the East Coast. It was suddenly where I yearned to be. Although moving halfway across the country was terrifying I never questioned if I would "fit in." I also lacked incredible knowledge about what the city I was moving to beheld. This for a while was a struggle. It seemed simple to focus on the "East Coast Snobbery," rude drivers, and how private people were. In my mind people came from "Old Money" here and had to have strong conservative viewpoints. It was culture shock to realize how in reality I was close-minded and many of the people I was close to as well.

Suddenly there is a realization how unprepared my mind was. I still had a bountiful amount to learn and identify. This was the reason for how lost the last year felt. There was an overwhelming feeling of not knowing who I was. My worlds had finally all collided and nothing fit completely. It was not my friends or family defining my beliefs and morals. It was my own decisions based on my educations, passions, and ideals. Ironically it is the type of education and exposure you receive that forms your identity. For example last year I went to a party with a friend. There was a lesbian couple at the party who I had worked on a project with present. My friend deduced we must hangout with different people because she didn't want the lesbian couple to have the impression we were a couple. Furthermore, proceeded to throw herself a the guys at the party to ensure no one would make a mistake. Although it was amusing because it had crossed no ones mind at the party except my friend; it also was incredibly frustrating. How could someone I considered my friend be that close-minded?

It was the beginning of a new thought process. Previously I had understood how different cultures, races, and those with various sexual orientation struggled  in college and high school; however, it has always "not been my problem." In my mind it did not affect me; however, it should have. We teach girls at camp that standing aside a letting gossip and bullying occur is as bad as being the perpetrator. The city gave me exposure to more than anything my I could experience in my small mid-west communities; however, it is my education that defines the exposure with understanding.

Public Health requires a vast understanding and frankly, an incredibly liberal mindset. However, is all public health education the same? If my education had been in the "SOUTH" "MID WEST" or "WEST COAST" would my opinions be different? Do the political, religious, and cultural beliefs define the education received? Ironically my mother who grew up in the Mid West with her republican father always had the beliefs I finally have come full circle to. Why is it that it took me moving across the country to understand what she always knew? Simple my mother always wanted me to pick my own belief system based on my morals and education.

There must be a movement to find acceptance. Often beliefs are formed due to family beliefs; however, the education system must be able to fill in the blanks left. A person must be able to make their own beliefs based on knowledge and understanding; not because they are told to believe this. A view can only be wrong if it is uneducated. An opinion is personal; however it must be supported by data and fact. Once the data and fact is received there is clarity on what should occur.

When my mother visited she told me she knew I had outgrown my hometown. I did not completely understand. I knew that when I was home I itched and felt out of place. It is the realization that my views not longer collide with my cultural exposure at home.  Yet I feel stronger and more sure of myself than ever before. I could fight for my beliefs without tears. I know why I believe what I believe and would support them to any length. It is how I know I want to change the world.